Time ticks by, where'd you go?

So, it's official, I'm a college graduate. And furthermore, tonight is my last night as a New Jersey resident, at least for the next 3 months. My stuff is packed, the place is rented, job is still up in the air, and tomorrow a dread-locked Hungarian and her communist van are coming to whisk me away from this town. My friends and family have been so supportive, just amazingly positive in believing that this is a great idea. Ross Baker has sanctioned my endeavor, so it's gotta be good. I, on the other hand, am absolutely terrified. I try not to, but everytime I try to pretend I don't care, I end up feeling sick or otherwise emotional. I might as well let myself feel it, and keep from being sick.

Rewind. So graduation was great, since I got to go extremely early, thanks Rutgers, it was the one time that being an "M" was a good thing. The Post-Party at Keats was amazingly fun as well, with buds from both school and home as well as my favorite family members. Hell yeah for drunken kareoke.

Home has been pretty good. Mostly sitting on my ass, hanging with the girls for a little bit until Dana went back to NY and Megs heads to Florida. It kills me knowing that I won't be spending this summer with them, and part of me wishes I had reconsidered, just so i could have stayed with them. I know I'll always have them, the time i can't spend with them now will be made up in the future. 10 years of friendship ain't nothing to scoff at.

My summer insomnia hit last night, I couldnt fall asleep til 4am. I really hope this is isolated and that it hasn't returned for good. I really can't imagine being in DC, having to work, and not sleeping, like is usual for my summers. I need for this not to happen this year.

I've been back to NB twice in the past two weeks. I realize my inability to stay away, and i accept it. I went to Sara and Brent's party last saturday, and then I was there yesterday for one last diner run with the boys, and to give nick his b-day present. Part of me really doesn't want to leave, and another part is in denial that I won't be returning. I talked to a bunch of alumni in the past few weeks and they say after a year or so, you kind of stop missing it. It's funny, I don't recall if I felt this way about high school, but it just feels ten times worse than any recent heartache i've experienced. I'm really lucky that I'm able to care about this place so much.

I was gonna write this open letter to Rutgers, but I'm a bit tired for it. Keep your eyes peeled for it, because it will be coming...although probably from D.C.

I will say to all my buddies, past and present, that I am going to try my best not to lose you. Yeah, I'll be far, but not far enough that I can't come to a party, or wedding or bat mitzvah. Throughout my life, there has been one constant of friendship being the most important thing to me. I must have done something really nice in a past life to deserve you crazy people.

dial me up if you're in the district
<3
rachel