We'll do it all. Everything. On our own.

So I've been a citizen of Washington D.C. for a little over a week. The move in went smoothly, Viki = awesome. I got my room set up the ay i wanted and my pictures on the walls. Some artwork and some light cleaning and the place feels like mine. I don't even mind the pink paint on the walls, matches my iPod. The city is amazing, though I still have much of it to cover. The Capitol Building (a mere 5 blocks away) is absolutely breathtaking at night. I've been visiting several Senate office buildings, trying to get my resume around and doing some informational interviews. Nothing promising yet, but I hope that will change. In the meantime, last Monday I had two interviews, one for USPIRG and the other for a Political Fundraiser called CapTel. PIRG wasn't policy based work (they wanted a techie basically) and they wanted a year commitment. I didn't want to do either of those things. The other job really isn't policy based either, but the pay is better and the hours are more flexible. CapTel offered me the job on Wednesday, and I started training on Thursday and Friday. They also allow me to take off Fridays (which I will be leaving open for interviews) and I can pretty much quit as long as I give them a weeks notice. The people there are friendly and the work is pretty simple. Oh, and it's a five minute walk from my house. I really couldn't ask for more of a temporary job. I'm a little crestfallen because I haven't been able to find anything promising in the Senate. Part of me thinks I should have just pursued that, but sitting in the house on Tuesday and Wednesday, being a complete waste of space, I realized I'd just go bonkers. Atleast now, I'll be making money, gaining some experience, and still have the time to pursue the job I really want.

Meanwhile, throught the Rutgers in DC program, I've made a couple new friends and have had a semblance of a social life. I got to see Al Gore's movie, so I'm ahead of the curve. Sassy called me earlier in the week, she had been pretty emotional, having trouble moving on, especially with moving into her own place. I haven't had that at all really, but I guess college got me used to that. I miss not having transportation, and not being able to get home if I want to. I'm a crazy sort of person who would drive 4 hours to see a bunch of friends and then drive back. I guess i care too damned much. Otherwise, I'm glad I have people here who I know, so I'm not completely alone. Then I'd probably doubt this more.

Part of me hasn't realized that I'm not going back to Jersey in the forseeable future. I feel like I'm just visiting, or I'm supposed to be going to classes. Something like that, something temporary. Also surprising is how much I cling to Jersey people. It's hard to be around people who don't understand Jersey stuff. I've always seen myself as an accepting person, but when it comes to regional differences, I guess I've just never been tested. Hearing people with deep southern drawls always makes me flinch. It a bit of culture shock I guess.

I felt a little eh today. Not homesick. Just lonely. Yesterday was a whirl of activity, and today was silent. I don't know why I feel like every free moment should be filled, but I do and I got mildly depressed this evening..just wishing I had something to do and someone to do it with. It's only been a week, I shouldn't complain. I'll have plenty of opportunities to make friends and go places. I feel like I've been here for a month.

Well this has gone on much longer than I expected. Now that you're bored to death, have a nice week

-raaaaquel

Time ticks by, where'd you go?

So, it's official, I'm a college graduate. And furthermore, tonight is my last night as a New Jersey resident, at least for the next 3 months. My stuff is packed, the place is rented, job is still up in the air, and tomorrow a dread-locked Hungarian and her communist van are coming to whisk me away from this town. My friends and family have been so supportive, just amazingly positive in believing that this is a great idea. Ross Baker has sanctioned my endeavor, so it's gotta be good. I, on the other hand, am absolutely terrified. I try not to, but everytime I try to pretend I don't care, I end up feeling sick or otherwise emotional. I might as well let myself feel it, and keep from being sick.

Rewind. So graduation was great, since I got to go extremely early, thanks Rutgers, it was the one time that being an "M" was a good thing. The Post-Party at Keats was amazingly fun as well, with buds from both school and home as well as my favorite family members. Hell yeah for drunken kareoke.

Home has been pretty good. Mostly sitting on my ass, hanging with the girls for a little bit until Dana went back to NY and Megs heads to Florida. It kills me knowing that I won't be spending this summer with them, and part of me wishes I had reconsidered, just so i could have stayed with them. I know I'll always have them, the time i can't spend with them now will be made up in the future. 10 years of friendship ain't nothing to scoff at.

My summer insomnia hit last night, I couldnt fall asleep til 4am. I really hope this is isolated and that it hasn't returned for good. I really can't imagine being in DC, having to work, and not sleeping, like is usual for my summers. I need for this not to happen this year.

I've been back to NB twice in the past two weeks. I realize my inability to stay away, and i accept it. I went to Sara and Brent's party last saturday, and then I was there yesterday for one last diner run with the boys, and to give nick his b-day present. Part of me really doesn't want to leave, and another part is in denial that I won't be returning. I talked to a bunch of alumni in the past few weeks and they say after a year or so, you kind of stop missing it. It's funny, I don't recall if I felt this way about high school, but it just feels ten times worse than any recent heartache i've experienced. I'm really lucky that I'm able to care about this place so much.

I was gonna write this open letter to Rutgers, but I'm a bit tired for it. Keep your eyes peeled for it, because it will be coming...although probably from D.C.

I will say to all my buddies, past and present, that I am going to try my best not to lose you. Yeah, I'll be far, but not far enough that I can't come to a party, or wedding or bat mitzvah. Throughout my life, there has been one constant of friendship being the most important thing to me. I must have done something really nice in a past life to deserve you crazy people.

dial me up if you're in the district
<3
rachel

Places in a memory hold on to me. and I can't wait...

My life has changed dramatically since I last posted. My small depression about RCGA has passed, mostly because much bigger things have erupted that make that loss seem like nothing.

Passing the Gavel came and went, it was probably the best party of my college career. I had a great time. End of classes was a blur mostly because i wasn't worried about class and finals so much as I was about my future. My trip to D.C. was great, and made me realize further that I wanted to be there and work in a Congressional Office. Now getting that job is a whole different story. However, its a dream that I'm not willing to settle about. I don't want to defer it either. The day right after DC was the rally in Trenton. They commented about my sign in the Star Ledger. It was fantastic. It was my last stand as a Rutgers student and I was so amazingly proud.

Moving on. I have been applying to various jobs in both Jersey and DC. I heard back from one, and did interviews from 3 others which I will hear back from shortly. I was all over the place about where I was gonna be til I finally bit the bullet. I'm moving to D.C. I have an address and everything. My friend Dave and I found a place 2 blocks from Union Station and starting June 2nd, I will be a D.C. resident. It's probably the most spontaneous thing I've ever done in my life but as I said to my sister, I'm 22, I'm pretty sure this is the time you're supposed to do stuff like this. I'm freaked about it but I'm sure I'll be able to handle it after some initial panic/disorientation. I've handled worse (see last summer) and I have some support in D.C., at least for a while.

It's officially Senior Week (has been for a couple days), and everything seems to have come full circle. Senior Week reminds me of Orientation on Livingston 4 years ago. This is more of a Dis-orientation. Here are the similarities:
We're put into small, smelly rooms with our stuff all disorganized and disassembled.
We stay at the above mainly to sleep.
We hardly eat anything of nutritional value
We stay out way too late and our days are without structure, something we find fascinating
It's warm out
Everyone is friendly
that times some fun activities plus a lot of alcohol equals senior week.

Today was Medieval Times with the gang, which was a lot of fun. Eating with hands plus violence. Hot damn. Tonight is a trip to the city with a bunch o' people. Monday is Great Adventure.

Then a blur of activity culminating in the Big Day: Thursday. Grad Day.


Gonna keep myself busy so I stop thinking about it.
i feel lucky that i have so many things to miss. Some people somewhere don't have that.

love, rachel

and it goes fast. you think of the past. suddenly everything has changed...

Realizing how difficult it is to write this makes me disappointed in myself. I have prided myself in being able to detach and reattach to different things in my life with ease. I have made myself flexable to new situations, no longer hiding from them. With trying to write this,i realize that's been a farce, and i'm still that girl who hates it when things change, when she's not ready for them to change.
My last RCGA meeting was on Tuesday, and I made my way through it quite well I think. I gave my last vote, last officer report, last roll call. They passed and the world kept turning. It's really stupid to think this way because these things really have no bearing on the world, or my life...bigger things have hit me, even larger heartbreaks will come at me, and I am sure I will survive them. I was able to look at these moments during the last meeting and remember them as my last and draw every bit of happiness out of them for realizing it.
Anyway, here my open letter to the RCGA
My first two years at college were a whirl of ups and downs. Freshman year was disappointing (It was livingston, ha) and sophomore year brought me to college ave where I had more friends but was still just going through the motions of being a college student, still in my shell. I let Mel drag me to a RCGA meeting when she saw two Class of 06 spots were open. We had no idea what it was about, and about 15 minutes into the meeting they called for nominees to run. We spoke, answered question (thanks raj murthy for the cheat sheet) and 20 minutes later, we were a part of something. Nothing like realizing how a 2 second decision to do something changes you. Since then, college was something much better than it had ever been. I made some of the best friends I've ever had, its scary to realize i may never have met them if i had not joined. I began to feel important when people would ask me questions about the college or university because they knew i was a member. I was able to get the most out of rutgers by representing it, taking the good with the bad, and learning how to fix the bad. I laughed. I had fun. I've never felt so part of a community, even within my own family. Never felt so able to speak my mind, or share my thoughts, to joke and to be serious. I know I won't be ever to have this again, the way it was, but I'm really thankful I was able to be given it for the 2 years I had. I'm sad because I don't want to let go of it, and happy because I know it will continue and be there even though i am not. I'm going to let myself be jealous of it.

I thought i was gonna wait til Passing the Gavel to write this, but this morning i received an email nicely kicking me off the rcga listserv, which had to be done, i know this. It was just the realization of someone saying, you have to let go, instead of me giving myself time to let go. It's probably better this way, i can't be constantly checking to see what's going on with the body I'm no longer a part of. It hurt like ripping off a bandaid though. oh well, i've dealt with worse. One day i won't even care about this, I'll look back at this post and realize how silly I was.

In summation, just wanted to thank every person I worked with in the past two years. Thanks especially to Mel who dragged me here, thanks to whoever thought it was a good idea to create the rcga in 1894. To the friends I made, you are some of the most amazing people I have ever met. I've always found that I am able to surround myself with the best and brightest people, you are no exception. I am to see to it I do not lose you,

For the final time,
Rachel Marcus
Treasurer
Class of 2006 Representative
Rutgers College Governing Association


(the art of losing's not too hard to master...)

I am a visitor here. I am not permanent...

Greeting from sunny Cancun
Too bad Cancun looks a lot like Vernon, NJ. Go figure. Finally updating after weeks of ignoring it. More than a month ago it was my 22nd bday, followed by my birthday party at Stuff Yer Face. It was the most amazing party ever. So many people came out, pictures to be up on facebook soon. I had so much fun hanging with friends, sharing a fishbowl with eric, kamikaze shot courtesy of rob. I was tipsy but not drunk, which is good because i was able to remember what wan undoubtedly one of the best nights of my life thus far. I felt so unbelievably lucky to be surrounded by so many great people. You are all awesome
Since my last post, i've become less clear about future plans. LSAT scores blew, but I've still applied to Rutgers Newark. Fingers crossed. I learned a lot about getting a job in DC. I've toyed with going to China to teach english for half a year. I'm not closer to knowing what I want to do and inching closer and closer to May 19th. I know things will work themselves out, I just wish I could be more secure in my future.
Other than that bullcrap, great stuff has happened. I got elected to go to D.C> and talk with Congress members about financial aid. I'm amazingly thrilled with it, half because of the experience, but mostly because I want to be able to tell these people that they can't keep cutting aid and expecting students to pick up the tab. Congress is my own personal complaint department . Sort of.
Since I've been home for break, not much has happened. I avoided work like it was my J-O-B, hung out a little with Dana and Sarah. got to hang with Missy, Rach and Britt. Much awesomeness. I didn't get to work much at all, a surprise to me since I needed the money, but I did enjoy the time to sit and do nothing. I watched Matlock. I'm sad.
The break has been exhilarating, but I'm ready to get back in two days. I miss my friends, and I'm ready for this home stretch. I can't wait for it to be warm out, and getting to walk around without a jacket. I like looking forward to things.

til next time
-rachelle

Could you take away my weakness, I'm not that strong...

This may be some sort of record,
I only waited a month to start writing in this thing again. Go me. It is 6 days til I am officially old (i.e. 22) and I couldn't be more pleased. I love Valentines Day, mostly just to spite all you people who hate it. I've been back from Israel since the 15th. it was amazing. It didn't renew any of my feelings toward organized religion, it actually made me more angry at the orthodox, but I saw some beautiful things, walked in the desert, floated in the dead sea, saw Jerusalem, met wonderful people, and was just plain happy that I got to leave the U.S. I've been saying for the longest time that I wanted to do that, and now I have. Fear of planes be damned! I wish I could go everywhere, but I have to remind myself that there is plenty of time for that.

It's so funny when you're as young as we are and you feel like you're running out of time. I tend to live in the future, so it's hard to think about right now, I'm full of that stupid youthful optismism of feeling that I want to experience everything and be fulfilled. I have trouble when I see some of my friends who are willing to just settle in a place. I don't want to stop moving. That;s probably why I'm having trouble planning what to do after school is over. LSATs are over as of last week, and what they are will probably seal my fate law school wise. But I'm thinking that even if I do get in, I might just want to find a low level job on the Hill and live in D.C. for a few years. I really love that place, I've only ever been there a handful of times and it always felt like its where I was supposed to be. I don't want to put it off for another 3 years, plus whatever time I'll have to work in a firm to make up my student loans. Blahdy blah.

At the same time, I don't want to think about life outside of Rutgers. I've finally accepted the fact that I'm leaving, and that it's going to be fine because it just will be. Its a vast improvement because in the beginning of the year, I felt like I couldn't leave New Brunswick, and wanted another year. Now I've sort of conditioned the same feeling of NB as I have for Vernon: this place has given all it could, and you have to get out or you're going to regret it. There's nothing more for me here after graduation. I have to take what it has given and leave. It's really hard for me to separate from the people, and from the sense of familiarity that has come with living here, but I want to find a new place that I can become familiar with as well.

I know this may all sound like craziness, but its just amazing when I think of how much happens in 4 years. I look back at high school, and notice all those people I lost touch with (though the important one are still around) and I just don't want that to happen again. It's so absurd to mourn for those things which you haven't yet lost...but it's impossible not to acknowledge that it probably will happen. i don't know, i think it helps me to treasure everything and everyone now. I like being so lucky, I would just hate to lose it but nothing lasts forever.

Well kids, hope you think I'm a freak now ;)
-rach

have a happy valentines day

Hide and Seek. Oh, you won't catch me around here...

It's hilarious because all semester I kept saying I was going to update this thing, and never did. I was either a)too busy, b) realizing that if i updated at ther time, i would be procrastinating doing something else, c) i don't know, you guess. People have been realizing that I've been neglecting this blog which is touching, you crazy stalkers. Yeah, i said it. Anyway, I figured since it's the last night of 2005, I should write some sort of wrap up. That and since I have no plans for tonite, I might as well do something. I'd say I was a loser, but I thought I was going to have something to do, until the party I was going to was cancelled. Out of my hands.
Home has been fine, mostly chilling with friends and working. Lots of working. Sucks only because I don't feel like I'm having any real sort of break, for example, I'm working tomorrow at 8AM. fan-tas-tic. Christmas was a big let down, we can't get through any major holidays without fighting, and that's just the way it is. I'm looking forward to being back at school after this trip, I miss my buds, even as scary as it is my last semester at Rutgers.

Well lets forget about the future and think about the past. Here's my recap of the last undocumented months:
-sang by myself in public, won second place in RCGA Idol-Dave Cole robbed me
-became Treaurer of RCGA and discovered I'm a geek who loves budgeting
-learned I will give up sleep in order to bar crawl, with either RCGA or Eagleton Crew
-was part of a losing mayoral campaign
-crashed a political victory party with aforementioned crews, thanks for the wine Corzine
-fell chronically behind on all school work because of the stupid campaign
-decided i wanted to try for law school
-chickened out on december lsat
-went to a midnight show of harry potter: we're losers and damn proud
-made some great new friends and became closer with older ones
-many miscellaneous things i don't recall

and finally, decided to go to Israel, which is happening in lest than 4 days. I wish i could be more excited about going, but I've been so tired lately, i can't even think about this as a vacation. It's just another thing to do, but I'm sure once I'm there, I'll be fine. I'll be taking plenty of pictures on my hot disposable cameras. Oh, you're jealous.

I'm leaving on wednesday, be back Sunday the 15th. Probably back at school that monday if I can awaken from the jet lag. Can't wait to see you kids. leave nice messages on my cell for when i get back.

Later 2005, ready for my close-up, 06

LOVE
-rachel

Children will listen....

this fall season, do your civic duty and keep Halloween away from me and steinhart:


whoistyler: i wanna be a jedi!
RainbowR21: all the kids want to be a jedi
whoistyler: nuh uh!
RainbowR21: you're gonna be an M&M this year
whoistyler: nooooo
RainbowR21: do you want to stay home on halloween young man?
whoistyler: maybe!
RainbowR21: don't back talk me! I'll throw my glass of gin in your face
whoistyler: ill call the fuzz!
RainbowR21: i'm sending you to live with your father! you were a mistake!
whoistyler: whatever! he's got a bigger TV anyway!
RainbowR21: Fine! go upstairs and pack your stuff!
whoistyler: fine i'm gone!
RainbowR21: im sure him and his little slut girlfriend kimberly will let u be a Jedi, that is if they aren't too high to notice you're even there!
whoistyler: yeah, well at least he lets me smoke it with him!
RainbowR21: great, get high and then you can be unemployed in a trailer park someday, JUST LIKE YOUR DEADBEAT FATHER!
whoistyler: MAYBE I WILL
RainbowR21: Im going to start the car, you better be down here in five minutes, or im going to give the rest of your stuff away to kids who really deserve it
whoistyler: whatever...kimberly is right...you are a whore!
RainbowR21: that little slut talked shit about me? Well, you are not living over there. I don't want that bich talking about me to my kid.
whoistyler: you're so drunk you can't even say bitch right!
RainbowR21: I'm not drunk, u little shit. This is only my third glass!
whoistyler: yeah...in the past 20 minutes!
RainbowR21: thaaaaths not a lot
RainbowR21: now come hold mommy's hair back, i have to throw up
whoistyler: and scene
whoistyler: it should be a show
RainbowR21: it probably is...in suburban household living rooms all over the nation

Can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all...

Hello October,
and hello unloved blog. I've been so busy lately that I didnt even think to write in this thing. The eternal struggle between living life and writing about it. The former always wins. I've been working a lot on the campaign, and with a month to go I can't wait to see it end. I'm totally exhausted, but my bosses really don't get that Im a student as well as their bitch. 24 hours a week is really unmanageable. I'm getting to be really pathetic when the highlight of my week is getting to sleep til 9 on thursdays. Woot. Come on November 8th, dont keep me waiting.
Classes are ok, to be honest I hardly know whats happening in them. I'm keeping up, i think, i feel a little overwhelmed in my graduate course, just because I don't feel as smart as the rest of the people in it, and I'm not. They are pretty much all going for their 2nd or 3rd masters degrees, and im still undergrad. I need to read more closely I think...ive never thought so critically before and Im just not used to it.
Showgirls Movie Night was yesterday. It once again proves itself as being awesomely bad, as it was a big hit. You really just can't beat it.
The only think that has bothered me lately is my overwhelming feeling of nothing. Im not amazingly happy or terribly sad. I just am. And i don't much care for it. I have no one to crush on, which shouldnt seem like a big deal, but to have the thought of a person, even if its only a thought, makes me cheerful. To see them or think about seeing them or talk to them usually makes my day. And I don't have that at all right now. I should really be used to this by now. Not that I should be complaining at all. I have so many things that others don't have, but id really like to feel some sort of anything. Blah to me and my whining. Moving on..
Besides being so busy I can't breathe, I love being at school. I push all thoughts of leaving to the back of my mind. I don't know where I'm going after this, but I'm sure it's gonna be ok no matter what. I have faith in something, though its definition is not clear.

Keep it real, yo

btw- my counter got cleared..that sucks

I'm Leaving Las Vegas. And I won't be back...

BACK AT RUTGERS!
Hot damn. I just moved in yesterday and the past two days have been such a blur. Yesterday I got up early and moved back with help of the lovely Jillian, Ben and Viki. Then ran around for the rest of the the day: getting parking permit (I have a car. Egads!), lunch w/ Viki, then meet up with the guy I'm interning for. (check him out at www.fusionticket.com ) I'm getting paid, which is awesome, and I have a big job...no making coffee. Im the Office Manager of the campaign, so lots of responsibility. And lots of hours, but luckily my schedule allows for it. Sadly, you RU people may never see me again.

Leaving home was bittersweet, i loved my job and realizing that I may never go back to work there again was tough. I'll probably search all my life for such a fun work environment and never find it. It's so nice when work doesn't feel like work.

Anyway back to move in.. The room is huge! We have two walk in closets which is good coz mine is just filled with clothes. I have to go get a carpet for our little living area space and then we can bring my couch back fro Cabaret theatre. I unpacked most of my stuff yesterday and then Jill and I visited Rockoff to see Elyse and Steinhart. Its a nice dorm but way too in the middle of nowhere.

Today was leadership crap training. It was so boring, atleast brian simons was there so we could make snide and rude comments. Then there was dinner at Rafferty's w/ Nick, Dave and Jill, and now I'm at Helpdesk working until 10. I can't believe I signed up to work today...its slow though, so its not so bad to get paid to sit around and update my blog. When I work tomorrow, it'll be entirely different. Froshies are coming, and their moms will be calling to help set up their internet.

K, its a half hour to go bwfore work is over. Don't know what I'm doing after this, but I hope I won't be sleeping for awhile. I love being back.
leave one

-rach

You got a fast car. I won a ticket to anywhere. Maybe we can make a deal. Maybe together we can get somewhere. Anyplace is better...

Hey kids,
My reason for no posting is that I returned the laptop I previously spoke of and got a newer one that's battery actually has a decent lasting time. This one is much better. I'm still staying at my friend's house and its been great. No fighting, no worrying about fighting and I'm able to get to work on time. Yay me.

I heard from Viki today. The future roomie returns! Housing tried to pull some crap on us by giving us a third roomie, but I straightened it out last week. We're seniors, they can't triple us, and they fixed it luckily. Now I'm just looking forward to the big room with just Viki...no strangers. I'm so excited about this upcoming year, I can hardly stand it. We definitely need to have some sort of party, or go out to dinner when we all get back.

In ther news, went to the city on Saturday to visit my little nephews and to celebrate Mike's 21st b-day at Keats. I got to see my cousin and my uncle, and we sang Lady Marmalade again to rave reviews. The boys are adorable, I hope I can visit them more often when I'm back at school.

I've been working non-stop lately, but atleast I really enjoy it. Still need a car, that problem hasn't come close to getting solved. Still hopeful though.

Back to work for me. And I'm realizing that I should take the Rutgers Crew to Keats sometime in the near future. Watching you fools sing drunk Kareoke would be amazing.%

always chasing rainbows...

Gosh..its been over a month since my last post. So much for being a good updater. So much has happened...lets starts off with the good:

I am officially an Aunt as of July 7th. My sister had her twins; two boys Zachary Owen and David Marcus Overholser. They are both stunning and really little. It was weird to hold them coz i kept feeling like i was going to break them, but apparently its really difficult to break a baby. I was cautious nonetheless. My sister is doing well...she had to stay in the hospital for a little while after, but now they're all home and pictures are forthcoming as soon as:

i get my new laptop, which is more news. I finally broke down and bought myself a laptop from HP. It's nice and small and has a lot of memory, and a free wireless printer. Its still being shipped to me as of yet, but its on its way.

Ann Marie's wedding was on Friday the 6th, it went by so quickly i almost forgot about it. It was great, except for the rain, but that didnt get us down any. It was a very nice short ceremony followed by lots of dinner, drinks and dancing. Megs made an awesome date, we were hardly off the dance floor, so it was kinda like prom. Cat did the Mashed Potato, so it was all worth it.

Summer insomnia is back in full force..and occurring as I write this right now. I think there are extenuating circumstances in todays case. My mother has decided to pick fights with my sister and I whenever she's around, and tried to kick Sarah out of the house. So instead, I left and am now living with my good friend Missy. It is really fucking weird not to be living in my house anymore, but I just can't take the stress of living with a complete psycho. It's really shitty to have to bring it up when all this good stuff has been happening, but I kinda need to vent a little bit. On top of this I still have no car, but atleast I'm at walking distance to work now. Tomorrow (which is really today) I'm renting a car and going into NB to hang out with my buds for a little vacation. Its the only one I get so I might as well enjoy it. Dana's coming home tomorrow and will be around all week. Stuff is looking up..its only a month and 10 days til I get to go back to school for good. I'm a little down at the moment, but i shouldn't be. Afterall, I'm still the luckiest person I know.

drop me a line,
Love Rach

Where is my mind?

‘Sup kids
I haven’t been that keen on updating lately, not coz nothing has been happening, but mostly because I don’t like dealing with the dial-up. The last month has been a bit disappointing; no car, no new job, and didnt get the thing for Teach for America after working my butt off for it, which really kinda brought me down, but c’est la vie. Work at the deli has been fantastic, except that getting to work has become absolute hell since my sister moved to her different office. It’s been a bitch.
On the bright side, I’ve gotten over that stuff for the most part, and have been able to spend lots of time with my girls. I went to Great Adventure w/ Meg and Cat yesterday, where I nearly died riding Nitro, and where most the time was spent waiting on lines, but it was fun nonetheless, especially the car ride. Nothing beats singing 90s pop at the top of your lungs. The cars that passed us on the parkway totally laughed at us, but it was worth it.
I got Coldplays new album this week, but no tickets :( It’s like a vast conspiracy that I cant get tix to any shows in the tri-state area without selling my kidney. Not cool. The album is pretty good though, not as good at Rush of Blood, but buy it anyway. Also, I figured out how to get my songs from my iPod onto my home computer w/out losing them, so I guess I get the geek of the week award or something.
News for the near future...Going to Annie Mae’s wedding w/ Megs as my date, and Sassy is going w/ Cat so the four of us + open bar * dancing = mightily fun. I’m really looking forward to the whole sha-bang
News for the not-so-near future, I’ll probably be moving into school around the 25th of August, a whole week before classes start, and I’ll get to beat the crowds, which will be excellent.

I don't exactly miss school, and I get nervous when i think of going back, coz i have no idea what i want to do after next year, and again, all these family and friends think they know, but i should just stick with myself, and i what i feel..its never really led me wrong before. and hey, its my life, and i have to live it all by myself.

Anyway, work tomorrow. Whomever is reading this, you should comment. Odds are that I miss you.

-rachel

Solid Stone is just Sand and Water, baby...

Heya People,
This will promise to be a long ass post, so I’d get some popcorn if I were you. Or just stop now, coz its gonna be damn long and complicated. Last Monday, the 16th, less than a week after leaving, I returned to the beloved NB to celebrate Em’s 21st b-day. She didn’t get drunk, which was disappointing, but I got to see some pals that I didn’t get to say goodbye to, so I was happy about that. I’ll probably be down in NB a lot this summer.

I got to have breakfast w/ Cat on Thursday, who suggested we go visit the high school. For the last two summers, I somehow have made my way back to the school to visit, and had pretty much decided not to go back again, but Cat has so much to be proud of now, and I know she wanted to share it with some of our closest mentors. It’s always a weird experience to see these people 3 years after the fact, but it was great overall. I loved high school, and I try to keep in touch w/ the teachers still there, but I pull away at the same time. We can’t live in the past forever.

This weekend was hot, because I got to house sit in NYC for the last time for probably a long time. The girls couldn’t come, sadly, so it was just me and the boys, Matt and Rob. We got some great Chinese food, and then saw the movie "Crash" which was really good, although a bit long at parts. After that we went drinking at Keats, which we had promised to do all semester and finally came through. We watched my cousin play beer pong and drunk people sing kareoke, making it a fun-filled time for all. Saturday I went to The Met, and got to see the Diane Arbus exhibit, plus Therese, my favorite painting. Yay, for getting full of culture. Saturday nite, Dana, Cat and Sassy came to have dinner and hang w/ me in the apartment. Sunday I hung w/ the puppy before heading home.

Today was a bit of a roller coaster. I saw my old friend Michelle, who I hadn’t seen since before she got into an accident that put her into a coma for almost a year. She’s been out of the coma for a while, but it broke my heart to see her in a wheel chair, having trouble speaking and hearing, but she totally remembered me and Sassy, and mom, even though we kinda drifted apart in high school and I hadn’t seen her since then. That she’s alive and so active is wonderful, but it just makes my entire being ache to a time when we were kids, swimming, and playing everyday during our summers, no cares or worries in the world. Stupid clocks...

My older sis had to be admitted to the hospital today because she started having contractions, which is no good since shes not due til August. Her and the babies are fine, but she’s bed ridden until the do the C-section in like 5 weeks. I keep forgetting that by the end of this summer, I’m gonna be an Aunt. It’s kinda weird to think about, but I’ve decided I’m gonna be one of those awesomely cool aunts whose going to spoil them rotten. Sounds like a plan.

All right, told you this was long. Work tomorrow, wedding on the weekend. Collapse. Oh and I’m gonna be purchasing Coldplay tix on June 4th for the Tuesday Sept 6 show at the Garden (if you’re a local, it’s the Gah-den). Hit me up if you want to go, but I’m going for the expensive, up front seats. No screwing around.

Love ya kids, keep in touch,
-Rach

In a telescope lense, and when all you want is friends...I'll see you soon.

Hola hola,
I thought I was going to write this when I left on Tuesday, but packing took much longer than I expected. Grrr infinity. However, I did get to basically see everyone in between packing, getting my rental car and getting my pack check and finally getting the heck out of NB. It struck me about a half hour into the car ride that, wow, this year is over, and I won't be back for a nice long while. I've gotten so used to two world, I can just transition from one to the other. A big step for the girl who hates change. One second I'm having lunch w/ pals, thinking of how I'll miss them, hours later, back at Wok n' Sushi w/ the girls, laughing and eating...like nothing changed. It's a nice feeling I guess, to have so many people to care about.
SO I'm back at home, back working at the deli. I had a great interview w/ a law office to start working at a paid internship there at the end of June. It seems like it'd be a great experience. I'm still looking around for an internship that will cover my Eagleton one, I'd like my fall to be as free as possible, but it's not looking very good. Hopefully it'll get all figured out. Le sigh...
Anway here's to my Junior year..a few shout outs:

Awesome Roomie- Thanks for not being a Conservative-psycho who didn't speak to me, though I shall never forgive you for not getting me a cat
Rutgers Clubbers- Only gonna get better next year, love how we've grown so much
Intermezzo-Rutgers clubbers sans rutgers club..but we seem to be able to bother them just as much
Wessels Sorority
RCGA- joining is in my Top 10 best decisions ever made
Sigma Alpha Mu Parties
Turning 21, which actually counted since I didn't drink before
Old friends
New Friends
Winning Reelection-thanks Nick
Movie Nite Kids
Winning Best Groupie at Cabaret Ball
Whatever I left out

Thanks for making this year wonderful guys, and with Vikki, Ash, Kate and Caro returning, it just promises to get better. Love ya all

-Rach

So sublime when the stars are aligned

Well kids,
Here we are coming into the home stretch of yet another fabulous year, though this one was better than most. I‘ve made so many new friends without losing the old ones, and I’ve just been having the time of my life. I’m really sad to be going home.

The last three weeks have been totally amazing. I can’t remember ever being happier. The best parts involving movie night w/ the rcga crew. I hope it’s a tradition that we will keep alive next year.

Well, I have two more finals, of course they happen to be the hardest ones and have to be at the tail end of finals, so my last days here I will be studying and not hanging with my friends which just plain sucks. Plus I need a truck in order to move my couch and I need to pack up all my shit. Man this sucks.

So, who else is amazed that I a few short weeks we’re gonna be seniors? It’s so messed up that I can’t even think about it. So let’s not. For summer it looks like last summer, working at the del, except I have a job interview at a law firm this coming Wednesday, and I’m also waiting to hear back from Corzine. I reaaaaally (can’t stress that enough) don’t want to do my Eagleton internship in the fall, because then I will just never see people, and it’s my senior year so I deserve to have fun. Crazy decisions and I don’t want to have to make any of them.

Sorry this entry is such a downer..its just because I am so amazingly happy that I don’t want it to end. To all my friends, you guys make my life incredible. Congrats to all the seniors, don't be strangers!

Farewell entry in a couple of days, so keep your eyes peeled.

Staring at Happiness...

Why Mel and I should no longer be on RCGA

Me: I move to cancel Wednesday.
Roomie: I second the motion!
Me: All in favor?
Me and Roomie: Ay
Me: All opposed: *silence* *crickets*
Roomie: Well, that passes...

I would love for you to make me wonder...

WOW,
So much wonderful stuff has been happening that I just can't wait 2 weeks to write it down ;) Thursday, where we last left off, was hot dog day. Yeah, free hot dogs, seeing about every one of my friends, and then a nice after party of sorts at the Student Center. But bigger news was that I got to go to Spamalot! My lovely neighbor Megan offered an extra ticket and I got to go. So I went of to NYC w/ Elyse and Steinhart, we got to go to Keats for a free meal then off to Spamalot, which was hilarious. Better than The Producers even. Icing on the cake was that Elyse got Tim Curry's autograph for the both of us and then I stuck around to get Hank Azaria's. I wanted to get David Hyde Pierces but t'was not meant to be, back on the bus for me, I did get to see him though. And we got to watch Batman on the Bus..hell yeah. Pretty much nothing will top that experience, I had so much fun, Elyse and I were floating on a cloud for the entire bus ride. Billy Crudup can call it priceless.

Sunday was training for RCGA which went suprisingly fast, and then dinner w/ the fellow student politicians. Always a pleasure.
I forgot to mention in my last post that I will be taking a graduate course next semester w/ Prof. Heumann. It's going to be absolutely awesome, as I don't have to do any of the graduate work, just work as a research assistant for Heumann, on a very interesting paper (that will most likely get published) Sweetness.
That's pretty much all for now, this pretty much means I won't be posting forever, classic rachel.

Random IM
(Me and Jill discussing the perennial Classic hit "Da Dip")
RainbowR21: seriously, i never listen to that
oHereinmyHeado: yeah rrrright
RainbowR21: really, the lyrics aren't that hard to remember..i can't recall, what happens after you dip?oHereinmyHeado: lol im laughing tooo hard

And you people who read but don't comment, I know you read this, I've had over 500 hits..so comment...unless you want to tease me about Da Dip, coz then u can just shove it.

Peace, Love and very small rocks

Photographs and Still Frames in Your Mind

It seems to me that the only free time I have to write in this thing is when I'm at work. So here I am, it's way too early in the morning, I finished my Africa paper, and now I'm talking to you fine people. Howdy.
This week has been nice and crazy. I WON REELECTION! As did running mate Nick, and buds Mel and Shawn, nice job guys. Thanks to all my buds who made an effort and voted, I truly appreciate it, you have no idea.
This week has been the sad reality that all our seniors are leaving RCGA. We had our last old body meeting on Tuesday, which was long, but fun and terribly sad as we realized it would our last meeting w/ Adam and Chris, and crazy Kristen antics, not to mention all the others leaving us. Grrr, I hate this. Its such a familliar feeling, like junior year of high school when all my senior friends left and I too had to realize that it wasn't long til I was gone as well. Thats probably what I'm most sad about. Facing the fact that in less than a month, i will be a College Senior, and soon a graduate..wtf, mate. Where'd it go?
Last nite was Passing the Gavel, the final of the 2004-2005 RCGA season, which featured kickass food at the Rutgers Club and a nice 3 hour dinner. I'm looking forward to next year on the body, we've got so much done this year, I can't wait to see what we can pull off in the future.
Better, was the following party at the Sigma Alpha Mu house, with the awesome slideshow, crappy beer, and the best part, drunk Pat O'Connell. He's even more hilarious when he's toasted. I got to chat up with a bunch of people I never really got to know, and Mel and I stayed for about 4 hours, got home just in time for me to catch like 5 hours of sleep before i had to come here *blowz raspberry* Josh Ontell was nice enough to walk us home to make sure we didn't get mugged, which was greatly appreciated, since I had no money on me.

All right, I gotta get ready to blow this popsicle stand and go to class. Just want to say to all the current and leaving members of RCGA: you guys have made my year. I've never had this much fun with an student organization before.

All the best, and stay in touch!

Love to the rest of ya as well ;)

So find a new lifestyle, a reason to smile...look for nirvana...

Buenos dias chicos y chicas!

It is a totally beautious day, so of course I am here working at the helpdesk..oh baby. It's slow as slow can be, probably because no one is inside looking at their magical computer box, they are out enjoying nature, becoming one with the earth and all that jazz. Today we got to have half of class outside, which was awesome..I haven't been able to do that since high school when we'd beg our teachers to let us roam. It was nice.
Spring break was 2 and a half weeks ago, now all I want is summer..gah. I have been hanging out w/ pals and Rutgers Clubbers, good times all around. Last Friday I got to go see Sin City w/ Steinhart's crew, and Elyse (yes, diet soda). It was mildly amusing, definitely a guy flick, which doesn't bother me, coz I like watching stuff blow up as much as the next person. And hookers with guns? Hell yeah...;) This week is elections for RCGA and my friends have been great, they all voted, so super shout out to you people..you're awesome. Nick and I have been trying to chalk up the campus, but apparently the maintance people don't appreciate it..psssh..
In other news, I am totally hating academics this semester. I can't seem to do anything right...Modern Africa (the class, not the concept) can kiss my booty. I think I just need to lock myself in the library this weekend and get my shit together. It sucks that I can't make it to any of my professors office hours because I have back to back classes everyday...gulp...
I'm trying to figure out what to do this summer. My dad says he's trying to get me a car, but he makes that promise a lot. I need at least two jobs, because I need to make some money. I think I'm going to tryp and work the deli on nights and weekends, and work in a law office, or maybe the courthouse during the day. I'm trying to see if I can get one of the paid internships at the Congressmans office, coz then I'll know who I'm working for, but who knows. I miss when summer used to = nothing. Sleep in, don't work, go to the lake, go fishing, etc. Big ole Sigh! All righty, time to pretend to work...see you kids.